Restoring the Garden of Eden: A Return to Innocence

Two weekends ago, I took a trip to central Illinois for ceremonial work with a couple I had met through my time with Psychedelic Passage. This couple was not unlike many of the people I have met throughout the past year. They were stuck in patterns born of childhood trauma and self-perpetuating cycles of victimhood and helplessness. And while that may sound harsh or judgmental, I assure you it is said with the upmost reverence for this human experience, of which victimhood is often a central theme and a component that many of us will struggle with at least a portion of our lives (myself included).

Initially, the wife had come to us with the intention of taking a large-dose psilocybin journey in order to heal pain and trauma associated with her mother’s tragic and unexpected death when my client was just 2 years old. Death is difficult enough for a 2-year old to reconcile, but pair that with the subsequent emotional neglect from her father, and you have a recipe for a very lonely and confused little girl.

Trauma - whether big “T” or little “t” trauma - leaves the individual fractured. When the trauma occurs, the subconscious mind or psyche will wall off the part of the individual that has been traumatized. When this happens the individual will remain “stuck” at the age the trauma happened. And until this trauma is acknowledged and healed, that part of the psyche will run the show… except because this is all happening in the subconscious, it will often feel like a natural part of the personality. Just like Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

When my client arrived on the day of her ceremony, she was scared and distraught. We discussed the ceremony and ultimately decided that a large-dose experience was not something she was ready for. So, after some back and forth, she decided to take a very small amount of psilocybin (a microdose) and see how that went.

We spent the first hour and a half out on the dock. The property was beautiful and secluded, with sparrows and otters, dragonflies and songbirds of all types. After a few minutes, I asked her if she wanted to go into town (her hometown was about 30 minutes away) and get ice cream. With tears in her eyes, she shared that after her mom died, she used to always beg her sister to ask her stepmom to get ice cream, and her stepmom rarely said yes.

We gathered our things and set out for town. Ice cream was the priority: two scoops in a waffle cone please.

But the inner child journey didn’t end there. We proceeded to get a hot soft pretzel, played on a giant teeter-totter, snuggled stuffed animals at a small plant and home goods store, and ended our journey at the candy shop.

Full Inner Child mode: activated.

Eventually we made our way back to the Airbnb, where we spent the rest of the day just BEING. No plans, no worries, no responsibilities. Just sunshine, songbirds, journaling, singing, and connecting.

Now usually when clients come to me, they are hoping to do a large-dose (4-7g journey) and talk to God, so I was a bit concerned that given the level of trauma this woman was dealing with, she might be disappointed to have had such a mellow day. Yet, over and over she just kept saying how this was exactly what she needed - to just be. To eat junk food and wander without a destination and listen to the birds and watch an otter build a home. All she needed was to be still and remember a time when life was simple.

She needed to return to her innocence.

Later that night, I dropped her off at home. Her family was waiting for her. They invited me in to charge my phone for a few minutes so I could make the 30-minute trek back to my Airbnb.

Their daughter - we’ll call her “L” - is 10 and has Down Syndrome. I have always had a soft and tender place in my heart for those with Down Syndrome due to their innocent and unfiltered nature. L was sitting on the couch watching cartoons. I sat down on the floor next to her. *slap slap!* She slaps the couch cushions. “Come sit up here with me.”

So I climb up and onto the couch next to her. She grabs a blanket and drapes it over us as she snuggles up next to me. Then proceeds to fart on my leg - twice.

I start laughing in shock. She starts to giggle hysterically. Dad starts to playfully scold her. “What happened?” asks her little brother. Dad tells him. The whole room erupts in giggles.

Now if that was anyone else - anyone who knew better - I might not have been so forgiving. But this was pure, playful, silliness. It wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t mean. There was not an ounce of malice. And our laughter let the whole world know the beauty and sacredness of Innocence.

Innocence - true innocence - is a pathway back to Heaven. It is the way we restore the Garden of Eden and return to our true nature.

When Adam and Eve where in the Garden of Eden, the Bible says they were naked and unashamed. But then the apple was eaten from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and after the Fall - once their eyes were opened - they felt shame for their nakedness. Do children ever feel ashamed for being naked? Rarely. Because they don’t have the same associations with nakedness as adults do. Growing up and attaining knowledge inherently carries shame with it. And shame steals innocence away.

And that’s the beauty of people like L. There is no shame… and therefore Innocence is preserved.

Many people talk about brining Heaven to Earth or Restoring the Garden of Eden. This doesn’t mean of course that we will return to obliviousness. It does mean though, that we will one day reach a state of soul restoration and unity where we will remember our true nature. Innocent. Playful. Pure. Without shame. Without guilt. Without the need for greed or envy or pride.

If we are ever going to restore the Garden of Eden, we must first return to our own innocent nature.

“Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (Luke 18:17)

I just hope no one farts on my leg when we get there.